Chancellor Dame Marmalade Pemberton Paws today unveiled the University’s strategic plan for the coming decade, a document of 212 pages, of which the Chancellor has read the first four and slept on the rest.
The plan sets out three priorities: the expansion of warm floor space by 14 percent, the reduction of vacuum cleaner incidents by half, and the introduction of a university wide nap period from 1:30 to 3:30 in the afternoon.
Asked whether the plan was ambitious, the Chancellor replied that the University had survived 139 years of rain, dogs and budget reviews and could surely survive a plan. She then left the room through a gap in the door that had not previously been noticed.
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